Remember how devastated your best friend was when she went through her first serious breakup?
Even if you never liked the other person, even if you loved the other person, even if you were grieving a bit yourself, you were there for your best friend.
When she called to discuss things leading up to the breakup – and you could see it coming a mile away – you helped her process situations, deep feelings, and the roller coaster of disbelief and grief coupled with a certain knowing that it was probably over.
You took her calls at all times of the day and night.
If you lived close enough, you cried with her on the couch after first stopping at the store for the expensive tissues, the kind with lotion, and her favorite chocolate.
You let her be angry and say the things that needed saying (or yelling), and then never repeated them to anybody else.
When the relationship was finally done, you helped her pick up the pieces in whatever way benefited her most in the moment, like packing or cleaning or cooking, or even going with her to the rec center gym.
Perhaps you had to show a little bit of tough love and make her leave the house to go get coffee or see a movie.
You showered your best friend with compassion in different ways at different times, and you did not judge her for her process. You let her have the time and space needed.
When you’ve needed it most, have you been there for yourself?
When hard times happened, have you applied the same level of compassion, allowing yourself the time and space to process feelings and situations without judgement?
Take time to breathe.
If, right now, you are experiencing a hard day, a big disappointment, serious lack of sleep, a teenager (!), a family illness, or any stressful situation, I want you to take time to breathe today. And I do mean breathe.
Find space by yourself, even in the car if needed, and take three deep breaths. Sit quietly with eyes closed and allow your shoulders to relax.
Now take three more deep breaths. Find any other areas of physical tightness (for me, it’s jaw) and relax that area the best you can.
Do this every day. And find another way to show compassion to yourself whether it’s that lotion-infused Kleenex, a lavender-infused bath, or the ear of YOUR best friend.
Practice compassion for yourself on a regular basis, and your life will feel more manageable.
Writing, as we know, can be a fantastic therapeutic and cathartic tool for handling stress and times when we are too hard on ourselves. Start a journaling practice to tap into this healing effect.
To your writer journey…
P.S. Check out my current online writing groups!
